June 9, 2017

So, two days before I left for New Mexico for the summer, I told my parents/sister about my bipolar and anxiety. My mom cried, my dad moved on, and my sister was and remains to be pretty open and accepting about the “coming out.” All were quite happy I wasn’t pregnant or gay, which sucks.

I like it here, but I want to drink tomorrow, and skip meds. The last part is more safety so I don’t have side effects from the medicine. The bulk and importance of going out tomorrow is finding a bar, or multiple bars, and to drink. I need to drink, badly.

I want to be reckless. I want to be with a woman. I want to be drunk. I want to be attractive to everyone. I want to be fun to be around. I don’t want to feel inadequate anymore, so I’m not going to feel that way.

It is time to start being deliberate in my life again. I am in control.

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