New year

January 7, 2018

I had to post in this moment because it feels like a mini triumph of self-acceptance.

I’m getting good at analyzing my moods. Like the feeling of ants beneath my skin versus actual muscle spasms. Or being lazy and not leaving my apartment all weekend versus a depressive episode and the feeling of being trapped in my mind, or even better, a panic attack where I literally cannot leave my apartment.

I can’t tell yet if the new med is working. My doctor started me on an antidepressant in addition to a mood stabilizer. He said the antidepressant should help with the extreme anxiety I’ve been having. High hopes, man, high hopes.


It’s freezing rain outside, so my only goal today is to make it to the gas station in an hour or so, and to finish paperwork.

Happy new year, back to school, and better mind!

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